Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Using the darkness...



I don't like to complain. I always feel that I have no good reason to, no right to ever do so. It's very easy to look at the world around you and see someone far worse off than yourself, but I always find that increases my own depression. Trying to make myself feel better by comparing my own sorrow to the plight of another suffering human being only emphasizes the sadness and pain of it all. It helps no-one, solves nothing.

So what is the cure? Hot chocolate and marshmallows? Talking to friends and family? A facepalm and a stern injunction to yourself to 'buck up'? Helping someone else out? It can certainly ease the problem or provide a distraction. When I feel myself sinking, I tend to hide away - if I can't stand my own company, why inflict it on the people I love in my life? I know it will pass. I know life has its highs and lows. The swings of a pendulum, the shift from day to night and back again, the rise and fall of the waves....nothing in this universe is constant, everything subject to flux and change.

So will I be happy tomorrow? Probably. Will I get depressed again? Likely. Am I going to keep on complaining about it? Well, maybe just a little! In the meantime, what can I do with it, this darkness pouring through my soul, dragging me down? Perhaps this is a good time to write a dark, depressing scene for the next book....?

2 comments:

  1. It's just been that kind of week, I think. Be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel sad, just like it's okay to feel happy. We do our best to do both - to do it all - with dignity and grace, and that's likely the best we can do. You have lots who love you, and who worry, and upon whom you can lean for a bit to catch your breath, and I hope that knowing helps a little. xx

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  2. It has been that kind of week, to be sure. And yes, it helps! :)

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