On Hiatus

I'm taking a short break from the internet for August, so this blog will be a little quiet for the rest of the month and into the first week of September. In the meantime, there are scheduled posts going up every Wednesday at my cosplay blog - The Intergalactic Seamstress - and at the review blog Critique de Book, plus the odd up to date post at Spacefreighters Lounge on a Tuesday (or you can find my fellow crew mates posting Monday-Friday). See you when September comes! 

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday #53

Cover by Danielle Fine

Hello, and welcome to another #sffsat snippet. Many thanks to all those who visit and comment. I'm continuing with Terms & Conditions Apply, and having asked for the avatar's designation, Marie is given its name instead - Soren. But she has a problem with that...



Only sentient beings used that particular form of reference.
Confused, Marie walked back along the corridor and the avatar kept pace with her as they returned to the center.
“Do all avatars have names?”
“All those on Venus Ascendant. I’ve never met any elsewhere to ask.”
Soren guided her around the curved edge of the center and down a wider corridor not quite opposite the one they’d left. It walked with an easy grace, its hands clasped behind its back, avoiding passersby in a fluid dance. Marie struggled to keep pace and her progress through the crowd was far more awkward. Perhaps observing her troubles, Soren placed his left arm around her waist. Marie opened her mouth to protest, but he deftly swept her into an adjoining corridor and guided her to a seat before she could collect the words. 


© 2009-2012 Copyright Philippa J. Green All Rights Reserved


You can check out the other authors in SFFSAT by going to the main blog here. (BTW, following on from a conversation on Twitter I hope everyone has taken the time to read the new addition to SFFSAT's About - that this is NOT intended as a critique forum unless a participant specifically requests that type of feedback).


18 comments:

  1. I like the words you use to signal Marie's distress: Struggled, awkward, troubles, protest. Great subtle signals to the reader.

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  2. Very descriptive. I love the way you had him walking...pictured it immediately (reminds me of someone I know, only he comes with a stick up his back end). Good stuff!!

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  3. I like how you went from neuter gender to signifying Soren as a male in Marie's mind. That subtle transition says everything!

    :) Heidi

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    1. Thanks, Heidi - it was difficult to know the best place to make that transition. She was very resistant to the idea of thinking about it as 'him'.

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  4. That walk, I love the description there

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  5. I have this suspicion that quite a lot of Marie's confusion comes from the conflicting messages - her head is saying that this is a machine, but her eyes are identifying an attractive man - when he puts his arm around her waist (rather than just taking her arm) it focusses her conflicting responses in contrast to the avatar's confidence. Very nice snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Peter - yes, she is struggling with the idea.

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  6. TM Stole my comment--AS ALWAYS. Anyway, I enjoyed the sense of confusion and the ability to personify the avatar without use of expository descriptions.

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  7. Has me wondering more and more about this avatar.

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  8. Nice snippet! I'm intrigued by these two. The avatar is more than he seems, I think. :)

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  9. I'm intrigued. But then, I have a soft spot for artificial intelligence.

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  10. Very nice way of conveying her confusion. There is so very much more to Soren than she thinks or wants to admit. I can't wait for the zinger!

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  11. It's very easy for this scene to bloom in my imagination. Great snippet!

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  12. It's Peter who stole my comment, except that the conflict for her--whether to be attracted to an AI--is what makes the reading oh-so-delicious. Fantastic details and pace.

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  13. I believe Tash's question to Data becomes relevant - is he "fully functional"? :D

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    1. He he, and that's what you have to read the full story to find out. Not long now!

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I always love to hear your thoughts.