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Friday, 10 December 2010
Today is a GOOD day....
Today is a GOOD day. I'd even go as far as to describe it as a damn fine one. Quite a statement from someone who prefers not to swear, especially with three young children in the house.
Oh, no, I haven't found a publisher or an agent. I'm still hunting. Steven Spielberg hasn't offered to buy the rights and transform my book into a block-busting film. Believe me, if that were the case I wouldn't be here, writing a blog post. I'd be swinging from the lamp post outside my house, showering the street with champagne and promising copies of my masterpiece to every passer-by. sigh.
No, today I got back my first marked assignment from my tutor. The first true indication of how I'm doing on this writing fiction course. And to be honest, I was dreading it. My personal demons of Doubt, Paranoia and Low Self-esteem were fighting it out for supremacy in the depths of my soul. I thought I should at least manage to pass, that I could at least score half marks. After all, I've written four books in total, with others in progress - surely I could manage 50%?! Surely if my writing was that bad I wouldn't have had two literary agents tell me 'nicely written'? Surely someone would have told me the truth - that my writing utterly sucks?!
Well, now I can breathe again. I can't tell you my exact score - apparently that is frowned upon. But I can tell you that I passed, and that the feedback I had made me both cry and laugh. My faith in my writing is renewed, and I'm ploughing back into my university activities and tutorials with more enthusiasm than yesterday.
There's still the main assignment due in on the 22nd January, and the thought of it knots my stomach. But the little Angel of Self-Confidence is rousing itself and joining up with Determination and Ambition in a battle to oust the demons. And today I'm all smiles.